022 Gen Alpha & Gen Z Aren’t the Problem

They’ve been called entitled, distracted and impossible to teach. But what if we’ve been asking the wrong question?

In this episode, I sit down with professional footballer and coach Coco Majstorovic to explore what Gen Alpha and Gen Z are really showing us. Drawing on her experience coaching young athletes and my work with SoulLife Psychology, we unpack why traditional parenting, teaching and coaching methods are becoming less effective and what needs to change.

We explore why these generations don’t automatically accept authority, why connection has become more important than competition, and why adapting the way we lead, educate and communicate is no longer optional.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach or simply curious about where humanity is heading, this conversation offers a different perspective on the next generation and the future they’re helping to create.

In this episode:

• Why Gen Alpha and Gen Z think differently

• The shift from authority to connection

• Coaching and teaching that actually works

• Why emotional wellbeing is becoming central to learning

• What these generations are teaching the rest of us

The  Buzzfeed article mentioned

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0VgC7epw81uGqqvhd86vZkAJ5UMSNnf5o6ywVgftXtnitRvz39QnfJYYB5XSVH2TUl&id=100059610846820
 
 
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Transcript

022 Gen z Gen Alpa

Dr Toni: [00:00:00] They've been called entitled, difficult, distracted, lazy, and impossible to coach. But what if Gen Alpha and Gen Z aren't the problem? What if they're changing what it means to lead, to teach, and to connect? Today, I'm joined by a professional footballer who works with generations every week.

Together we're asking what they're showing us about the future of humanity 

[00:00:30] 

Dr Toni: Welcome to the SoulLife Psychology podcast, where intuition meets logic and you remember who you are and why you're here. I'm Dr. Toni Reilly. Recently, I've seen headlines claiming teachers are struggling with Gen Alpha and Gen Z. Coaches are noticing changes. Parents are [00:01:00] asking why their children seem so different.

Some people believe this generation lacks resilience, attention, and even critical thinking. But I see something different. We are witnessing the next stage of human development, the evolution of humanity. Today, I'm joined by someone who spends almost every day with young athletes. She's a professional footballer, a goalkeeper, and coach, and she's watching these [00:01:30] changes happen in real time.

Dr Toni (2): Welcome, Coco. Thanks for having me. Super excited for this one today. Ha. I brought Coco in today to discuss this article that I read on Buzzfeed. That article was centered around Gen Z and Gen Alpha and what the teachers were experiencing with them, They'd compiled a list of frustrations that teachers were saying about these generations. [00:02:00] One of the things that they said was that these kids or these young people have no critical thinking, and I thought that we know through LifeMap why this is happening and whether the kids or the young people can even do anything about it. Coco, you're in the professional athlete or professional sport industry, so you [00:02:30] are training as part of a team, and you also coach younger kids, which probably fall into the Gen Alpha crew, and I suspect that your peers would fall into the Gen Z category, being born since 2000. When they say these kids have no critical thinking capacity, what do you see with the way that they are, [00:03:00] I guess, on the field or in training?

What do you see with them? 

Coco: I think the main thing that I've seen or noticed is that they probably don't have the critical thinking to agree with that article. But my thoughts with it is what can we do to problem solve or help them or adapt our new teaching and ways to get the best learnings for these new generations, the Gen [00:03:30] Z obviously being a bit older now, and then the younger Gen Alpha coming through.

What can we do to replace the critical thinking or help them exist in the world? Because we're gonna need them. There's gonna be a whole lot of them, and generations die out and evolution happens. So what can we do about that to make the world a better place? 

Dr Toni: Yeah. And to your point there, the thing is there's really no choice but for us to [00:04:00] adapt to the way that they learn and receive information and think about things.

Um, to the point about critical thinking, when, when we look at young people's life maps, there's one irrefutable placement that we see in most of them. 

And that is they don't have the [00:04:30] thinking capacity or the ideas energy. Some of them don't have the practical energy either, and what that means is a lot of them only have the intuition or the being led by feelings, and that's what I think's going on when these teachers are saying the kids can't think.

They've got no common sense. They say all sorts of things like this, but these kids are running on instinct. [00:05:00] They're not caring about if it's clever, are they keeping up with, with what they've been taught. It's almost like potentially they're daydreaming even when they're being taught is there anything you've noticed that needs to be changed compared to the way coaches used to coach compared to how the young people respond?

Coco: What I would say is rather [00:05:30] than working directly with the kids, it's probably more about coaching the coaches and giving them the right tools so they're able to best coach these kids and work with them. It's not so much the physical side of things directly that I'm working with them with a goalkeeping skill or football skill, as an example, but more so the mental side of things, which is a hot topic in the last five or 10 years, and it's becoming more [00:06:00] and more so, and anxiety and keywords and phrases and feelings like this.

So it's much more about how can we get these coaches to understand that things are shifting from you have to do this, you must do this, to, okay, would you like to do this? How can I help work with you? What can I do to help you succeed? Not, you will do this to succeed. 

Dr Toni (2): That's something , that is [00:06:30] documented or as part of their plan in the evolution of human is they don't just do things just because they're told, because if it doesn't make sense to them, then they won't do it.

Coco: Mm. 

Dr Toni (2): And do you, do you see that showing up in the coaching sector? 

Coco: Definitely. They- Um, you have to be very direct and explain a lot of things, visually [00:07:00] show them, explain it visually again. Just say the same thing probably a million and one times for them to get it. And also, I think what's very important with these new generations, especially the Gen Alpha, but Gen Z as well, is just to get your point across and get your point home to them, it has to be short and sharp because you lose them within moments.

You can see they're off with the fairies or something like this, unless you [00:07:30] can keep them engaged, which is extremely difficult. And I guess linking back to the article is what the teachers are probably struggling with, having to get them to focus in class, which is a big challenge. It has always been a big challenge, but previously, the baby boomers had no choice and had to abide, even though they may have been similar to this, but they didn't have an option.

Whereas now, the Gen Alpha still have that [00:08:00] same option, and they're choosing to exercise their voice and say, "No, I don't want to do this," and it's creating a lot of problems. 

Dr Toni (2): It is creating problems I think one of the misunderstandings is the older generations think that the kids have to change , to our systems, but they c- they actually don't have the capacity to work in the way that we worked.

We could [00:08:30] think and we could do, and this is inherent wiring that we're born with. You can explain it through the numbers, and I will just briefly. Being born in the 19s meant we all had one energy, which is practical, and nine energy, which is mind energy, and it's thoughts and ideas and critical processing.

Some of the kids born since 2000 have only Or predominantly two energy, which is nothing to [00:09:00] do with practicality or thinking. It's all to do with feeling. So this is why these kids, or most of them, it's not 100% of them, but most of them just do not have the capacity to sit and think, to listen to a lecture for a long time.

It's impossible because their intuition or their instinct is tuning them out, [00:09:30] especially if it's not of use to them. Whereas we were taught and we took this information in throughout school, how much do any of us need after school anyway? But what we see with these young 

Coco: people is 

Dr Toni (2): they're not taking it in regardless.

So they're definitely bringing some balance back to what matters to a human within our [00:10:00] lives. Unless you're a mathematician, the square root and those types of things that we're taught just don't really matter to most people

And that's what I see with the young people. They just can't take it in. , That's just an example of what needs to adapt in a massive way to be able to accommodate not so [00:10:30] much what they learn, but how they learn

I think that one thing that's very much missing perhaps in the coaching realm, you can, you can give your thoughts on this Coco, is If they're leading with their intuition and their heart, and they're kind of following energy. You can hear it in the way that they speak, "I feel this, I feel that."

Instead of saying, "I think this" or "I think that," [00:11:00] even their language defaults to, "I feel like," "I feel this," doesn't it? Do you see that even within, uh, your, in the football world? 

Coco: Yeah. It's just basically completely different to what's ever worked before, and it is a very big challenge, and I can see why people get frustrated.

It is quite frustrating. I experience it myself, but they just don't get it, and it's wasted energy. They don't even understand [00:11:30] why you're frustrated. They just don't get it, and they don't have capacity or they just don't take it on board. It's not their problem. It's not to do with them. So the quicker that people can adapt and get on board with new styles and new teaching, which is all about less is more and less information.

The old coaching styles I've experienced, they wanna tell you these stories and make everything about something, and very deep, and [00:12:00] what they went through. This is my experience. This is my experience. If you try and tell that to these new generations, they don't have anything to link that feeling to, or they haven't experienced it themselves, so they don't resonate with it.

So it's important to move on from that and make it about them, which is what I try and do as a coach with these kids. It is, uh, making it about them and trying to, say, for example, Charlie is their name, something like that. [00:12:30] Just say, "Okay, Charlie, that's all right there. You've made a mistake, but what can you do better?"

And asking them to solve the problem as opposed to you telling them what to do is what I attempt to do and try to do because if they don't get it themselves, they will not get it. They'll listen to you to a degree, but not all the time. 

Dr Toni (2): So you get results more if you place it back on them to be able to... find the solution or find the [00:13:00] way that works for them? 

Coco: Yeah, any of, any of the above. Find the solution or get them to work it out. I also don't coach at a very high level, so another big thing, an important thing to remember is that it's not that deep, or they don't want to go to a World Cup or win a big premiership.

They're just there a lot of the time to have fun, so- Mm-hmm ... I'm constantly saying how can they have fun, and things like that. And w- I personally have experienced [00:13:30] different standards when I've been training at high levels and in big environments where- Performance is your number one key. We're there to win, and that's all that matters.

It's our job at the end of the day to win, whereas these kids are there to develop, have fun. They might have had a big day at school, and because of their emotions, they're sensitive and take everything on like a super glue or like a magnet. Everything is attracted to them. You just gotta work [00:14:00] with them.

Sometimes having a chat, they always wanna have a chat. You- the first time you meet them they'll be telling you their whole life story and what they did at school today. I, I would never, I would never have done that. But if they just wanna chat, , that's important too. So this is a little bit off topic, but you just gotta work with them.

If that's what they need, that's what they need. , And of course, we're just talking about not winning as the main goal, so it's okay to do stuff like that 

Dr Toni (2): Yeah, [00:14:30] okay. , So really the kids that you coach would fall into Gen Alpha, so they really very much are the kids that are still at school. 

Coco: Mm. 

Dr Toni (2): So they, they're most likely the ones that this article that I read recently- 

Coco: Mm-hmm

Dr Toni (2): Is referring to. 

Coco: Mm-hmm. 

Dr Toni (2): Gosh, there's so much that I wanted to go into around these generations, but I think what you've said so far is so helpful [00:15:00] in describing how it is important for us to adapt to the way that they are. It's is about teaching the teachers, teaching the coaches, teaching the parents even.

Coco: Mm. 

Dr Toni (2): Because it's such a unique time, isn't it? Where we're bridging this gap between the logical people, and the intuitively driven people or the [00:15:30] relational driven people and that's what our, from Gen Z, so from 2000 are. They're much more interested in relating to each other. 

Coco: Mm. 

Dr Toni (2): So it's all about what they would excel in is, "Oh, how are you feeling?"

Or, "How are my peers feeling? How's my friend?" All of these sorts of things, so it's different. 

Coco: Yeah, I think the feelings and the big difference that are becoming... The feelings that are becoming obsolete and a [00:16:00] big difference between both of the generations, or maybe baby boomers, Gen and the millennials and the older generations like that- Gen X

com- Gen X compared to Gen Z and Gen Alpha is those strong feelings like respect, uh, things even like quitting, stuff like that is what they just don't give two hoots about and I think that's quite hard [00:16:30] because it's the polar opposite to what people have gone through, even with deeper challenges like war, immigration, all of those types of things.

It's, it's just so different from where they come from and because these generations didn't go through it themselves, Gen Alpha or Gen Z- ... It's not that they don't have empathy or sympathy, they just don't take it on board or resonate with it. So these people went through what they went through, but they need to [00:17:00] go through with Gen Z and Gen Alpha what they're going through at the same time with them and support them, otherwise they will become obsolete and the kids will quit.

As I just said, they don't have that drive or that factor where it's, "I will respect you. You are my leader, and I will do..." They will purely just quit. So you have to find a way to connect with them. 

Dr Toni (2): Right. That's something that is a big thing, is [00:17:30] that just because, and we were taught to respect your elders, but for them, it's like they would say, "But, but I don't resonate with you," or, "What you're saying doesn't make sense to me."

So they will disregard, whether it's an elder or someone they're supposed to have respect for. Really, they're very observational. They won't just lean in and [00:18:00] do what is told. 

Coco: Mm. 

Dr Toni (2): I feel like pointing out that what this does is it removes power over the people when the people don't automatically curtail to what's demanded of them or expected.

It's quite powerful, isn't it? What they are, what they have the capacity to do, and it's natural for them to just say, "Mm, [00:18:30] ah, no, that doesn't make sense. I'm not doing it." And unfortunately, it, it means that they quit- or withdraw from some things.

Coco, , if you could think of a piece of advice for a parent, of these younger generations, what would it be?

Coco: The thing that's coming to my mind is to ask your children, or if they're a teacher, [00:19:00] ask the children in that aspect, or a coach or something like that, would be to ask about how they're feeling and make it more about them, not about you. Okay. Asking them how they feel would be the first place I'd start if I had to keep it very simple.

Dr Toni (2): Yeah. And it's such a simple thing to ask someone how they feel, but people who were logical didn't default to, [00:19:30] "How are you feeling?" 

Coco: Mm. 

Dr Toni (2): So that's a great piece of advice. If you, if you think about coming from the perspective of a coach, what do you feel is the biggest or simplest even change that they can make to, to create a cohesive team or to get the best out of these young kids?

Coco: That's a very big question. I'm [00:20:00] not sure I have the answer directly to that, but what I would say is incorporating the emotional side of things, and not mental and mental health and this new word, because that's quite confusing and maybe we could touch on that in another episode. But emotional state and emotional wellbeing, if you can incorporate that as well as the physical performance, uh, physical attributes,

obviously in the [00:20:30] example of football, they're gonna be kicking the ball. That's fine. They can work on that as much as they want, but incorporating the coaching in with the emotional side is what needs to happen. 

Dr Toni (2): On that note, would it be an accurate observation that millennials, for example, were competitive, whereas the newer generations need [00:21:00] to, , get along with each other? So less... Are they less competitive? 

Coco: What I would say is the millennials have self-drive and individual performance, and they have exterior factors that is driving them to individually perform, pressure on themselves, things like that.

Whereas the newer generation, Gen Z and Gen Alpha, they do not have those self-burdens the same. Their self-burdens [00:21:30] are current, and when I say current, I mean anxiety in the moment, uh, feeling uncertain, feeling sick, things like that, as opposed to, "If I don't win the game and I go home tonight, X will happen," or, "I will be sad, I will this, I will that, I'll lose the respect of this person."

All those kind of feelings and emotions are, have finished now, or they're coming to an end, and it's in the moment with Gen Z and Gen Alpha. And that's what I [00:22:00] notice with them. They definitely love being in a team, and if they feel comfortable in that space, then they're their best self. If they have friends and can talk, very chatty bunch, and they love to feel, I guess, together in a group.

Dr Toni (2): Connected. 

Coco: Yeah, connected. Great word. 

Dr Toni (2): Yeah. 

Coco: Connected. 

Dr Toni (2): On that note, that's what they're here to do. So as, a whole, in the evolution [00:22:30] of humanity, they are helping us come back to a much more connected race. To a much more connected humanity. Coco, thank you for joining me today. Can I ask for you to come back sometime so that we can talk about mental health and how these other, you know, everyday- 

Coco: Buzzwords? 

Dr Toni (2): Buzzwords. 

Coco: Trending [00:23:00] phrases. 

Dr Toni (2): Trending phrases are playing out with our younger generations. 

Coco: Yeah. I'd love to discuss mental health, and I'll throw another one in there, too, imposter syndrome.

Dr Toni (2): Oh, yeah. 

Coco: That word- Yeah ... gets me going a bit. It's used now like you're going to buy a loaf of bread. Too often. 

Dr Toni (2): Do these younger generations suffer from imposter syndrome? 

Coco: We'll answer that in the next podcast. 

Dr Toni (2): Thank you, Coco.

Dr Toni: Continue, I want to let you know that applications are [00:23:30] open for Recall Therapy practitioner certification. Recall Therapy is much more than past life regression. It's a therapeutic process that helps people clear the fears, trauma, grief, and experiences affecting their lives, and we do it through experiential exploration, communicating with the soul.

If you're a therapist, life coach, healer, or someone wanting to understand yourself on a deeper level, [00:24:00] this training will teach you how to facilitate profound change with confidence and compassion. You can learn more about this at tonireillyinstitute.com.

I think every generation arrives with something to teach the one before it. Gen Alpha and Gen Z aren't here to fit into the world that we've created. They're here to help us create a better one.

Thank you for joining us for another [00:24:30] episode of the SoulLife Psychology podcast. If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who works with young people, a parent, a teacher, a coach.

I think this is a conversation we're only just beginning to have.

Next week, we're returning to our series on emotional bruisers as we explore why some people feel responsible for everyone else and why perfectionism is both a [00:25:00] gift and a burden. Until next time, self-awareness is the ultimate activism.